


I'd Like to Be My Old Self Again (But I'm Still Trying to Find It)

by linksofmemories



Series: Rewritten [13]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Episode: s03e13 Anchors, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-09 12:13:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linksofmemories/pseuds/linksofmemories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d look to his nightstand though, that stupid silver key sitting there, acting as his reminder that <em>yes</em>, Derek had been real. And <em>yes</em>, Derek had loved him. And <em>yes</em>, Derek probably still loved him no matter where he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd Like to Be My Old Self Again (But I'm Still Trying to Find It)

“Stiles, are you all right?”

He was covered in sweat and panting and his head hurt, but Derek’s hand, sliding up the back of his shirt, stroking against his heated skin, definitely helped. A strong arm was wrapped around his waist, pulling him back to lay beside Derek, his cheek resting against the older man’s chest.

“Yeah,” he said, swallowing hard before nodding. “It was just weird, like a dream within a dream.”

“Another nightmare?” Derek asked.

Stiles nodded, his eyes starting to droop as Derek ran a hand through his hair. He always knew how to calm him down, how to make him feel better. Who knew what would happen to him if Derek weren’t around to—

“Wait a sec,” he murmured, looking up at Derek who was watching him fondly. “Derek, what are you doing here?”

Because Derek had left. He had left Beacon Hills and Stiles, leaving nothing but a stupid note and a stupid key. (A key that Stiles wore every day on a chain around his neck, stuffed under his t-shirts so no one would see.)

His bedroom door creaked open then and Stiles sat up, his heart picking up a fast beat again in his chest. He was pretty sure he had closed that before getting into bed. He always closed it because privacy was an amazing thing.

One of his feet was planted on the floor before Derek cupped his cheek with his hand, laying him back on the bed. Derek’s familiar, solid weight was on him then and his heart started to quicken for completely different reasons. Because no matter how many times they did this, he still got excited and anxious.

“I should close the door,” Stiles said, not sounding convincing even to himself.

“Don’t worry about it,” Derek said, his voice all husky and warm.

Derek’s mouth was on his then and all thoughts about closing a stupid door escaped his mind. He had missed this so much. Weeks without Derek had been killing him and the nightmare situation wasn’t making things any better.

And there was no way this could be another nightmare. It felt so real and right, Derek’s weight against him, his stubble scratching at his chin, his hands under Stiles’ shirt and pressing against his skin. His hands were splayed across Derek’s back, feeling the heated flesh. Derek’s tongue slipped into his mouth and he sighed against him, opening his mouth and spreading his legs to accompany for Derek as much as he could.

Lips found their way to his neck eventually and he arched against the mattress, his aching erection pressing against the cotton of his pajama pants. This was what he needed, Derek was what he needed, and he needed to close that door.

“It’ll take two seconds to close it.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Derek said against his skin.

“Yeah, but my dad could just…” he trailed off, his face scrunching up in confusion before realization poured over him. “This is another dream. You can’t be here.”

“But I am here,” Derek assured, moving up to press their foreheads together.

“You left me,” Stiles said softly, his eyes going from Derek to the door. “You can’t be…I need to close that door.”

He slipped out from under Derek, standing up and walking slowly toward the door.

“Come back to bed, Stiles.”

“No, no, I need to close it,” he said, feeling strangely possessed. “Before someone comes in.”

“Just leave it, it doesn’t mean anything.”

“No, they might get in.”

He wasn’t even sure what he was saying, he just knew that he had to close the damn door or else something bad was going to happen. It was a gut feeling, filling him up and consuming his every thought.

“Who might get in?”

Stiles didn’t answer, his mind completely focused off of Derek for once in his life. His hand touched the doorknob and he distantly heard Derek shouting at him, telling him to just come back, but he couldn’t. He walked through the door, taking a few steps before the Nemeton came into view.

Because what the fuck else would it be?

**OoOoOoO**

Dreaming about Derek wasn’t new. Hell he’d been dreaming about Derek since he had met him, but those dreams were a lot different from the current ones. The older man had been gone for a few weeks and Stiles missed him too much. As in unhealthy proportions of too much.

He couldn’t help it though, Derek was kind of the love of his life and now with freaky nightmares and feeling like he was losing it, he couldn’t help but want to find security in Derek. Even if Derek himself wasn’t around to offer it.

Most nights he ended up drenched in sweat and feeling like he needed to vomit, but other nights his dad would be there, cooing him like he was a baby as he struggled in his arms.

He’d look to his nightstand though, that stupid silver key sitting there, acting as his reminder that _yes_ , Derek had been real. And _yes_ , Derek had loved him. And _yes_ , Derek probably still loved him no matter where he was.

Every night he’d just take the key in his palm, the cold metal soothing so little of his skin, but helping more than anything else ever could.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, long time no fanfic. (Y'know like "Long time no see" and okay I'll shut up now.) The title is from a T-Swift song (which surprises exactly 0% of you).


End file.
